Neither did I, but according to Choke and Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk the order went something like this...

1. Lightbulb
2. Sewing Machine
3. Clothes Iron
4. Vibrator

Which begs the question, HOW THE FUCK did your vibrator work in the past?

I just imagine riding a butter churn like a bike, or a hand cranked ice cream machine lubed with rock salt or some kinda crazy Rube Goldberg contraption where a candle burns a rope which lets an egg roll down a slide and make a boot kick a table leg/butt-plug in and out of your asshole.

Check out this video for turn of the century appliances, spectacular literary recommendations, and little known facts on how to prevent/accomplish shoplifting from Borders.

The delivery is so dry and serious at first that you almost miss how funny he is. Boy do I want to make the kinky frinky with him. How bout that bondage action at the very end!? I wish that was me or me in the middle.